Awareness Awareness Month Begins!

After Mayor Daley launched Awareness Awareness Month in Daley Plaza on Tuesday, November 1, an idealistic horde of marchers swarmed downtown Chicago yesterday to raise awareness about Awareness Awareness Month.

Manic progressives of all affiliations, colors, biases and interesting forms of employment began the awareness march with glorious sign making activities at Columbia College and then marched through the city streets to the final awareness rally in Federal Plaza.

In a rare and encouraging show of solidarity, a mass of Chicago Police officers marched alongside Awareness Awareness marchers as brothers and sisters in the cause, providing camaraderie and protection from many jealous people who have jobs who would also have liked to get outside and walk around for a bit on such a pleasant fall day.

The marchers showed their in-depth awarness by waving flashlights and chanting "I AM AWARE, I AM AWARE!", which also had the effect of making bystanders along the parade route immediately aware of awareness.

Along with raising awareness about awareness, the march and subsequent rally in Federal Plaza had the antecedent benefits of giving socially active yet frustrated individuals and groups a forum and stage to rant about all of the injustice in the world, as is always the heightened case with these groups whenever a Republican is in the White House.

Once in Federal Plaza, the emcee of the event performed an unintentionally gut-wrenching song from his new album, not for self promotion, but in the the interests of all things grass-roots-like. With each idealistic note sung from his raspy throat and with each tossle of his undreadful dreadlocks, the Awareness level escalated until it reached a fever pitch (which means a lot more chanting).

Just when it seemed the event could not be any more successful, a rousing speech calling for oppenents of awareness to be shouted down caused the excitement and happiness levels of the crowd to soar to new levels. (Even louder, more spirited chanting.)With "Awareness" being the main topic and purpose, all the specific pet frustrations and causes of the marchers began to froth and bubble forth for the usual causes trumpeted by this community:

• The World Can't Wait organization called for the Bush regime to step down.


• The Socialist Party campaigned for a charismatic candidate of the people.


• A petition was circulated for the support of gay and lesbian marriage.


• Members of the Earth on Empty organization dressed as the planet earth staged a mock rape of a sport utility vehicle while proclaiming, "There, how do you like it!"


• A crowd of three people screamed "Save the Rainforest."


• An angry black man called any nearby police officer "boy."


• "Meat is muder" was displayed prominently on at least two t-shirts.

Only one marcher seemed a bit behind the social-times, because on the back of his awareness sign was the slogan "Save the Double Door!" In only its second day, Awareness Awareness month is achieving record levels of awareness in Chicago! If you're not aware yet, you will be by the end of the month, as the light levels in the city will reach "Hiroshima blast" levels (see press release below). Be on the lookout for Awareness, because it is going to find you.

*Reality Note: This march actually happened. It was staged by World Can't Wait at the most perfect time for my comedic purposes. Sorry for the gap between posts, especially to you Mona :) An entry about "time" and my life is forthcoming. . .