The Skinny Pant is Back. Bring Back the Dove Girls!

The late, as in dead, Kate* Audrey Hepburn is starring in a new Gap commercial. She wants to dance in her skinny black pants, and Gap, Inc. is telling you that these ARE in fashion and you MUST go out and buy them if you are to remain fashionable.

Fine. The creepiness of the dancing dead Hepburn aside (shame on you, Hepburn estate), I'm already sick of the Skinny Black Pant ads on television and the print ads that are popping up all over every damn bus stop all over Chicago. I'm really missing the Dove Girl ads from last year. Any why is the word "pant" singular? Why isn't it "pants?" Is this a marketing thing, a fashion thing or a bad grammar thing in the name of marketing and fashion? Regardless, I am truly thankful that Gap, Inc. makes a great deal of their print ads available for download on their site.

Here's a typical urban scene. Can you spot the Gap advertisement?


Yes, there it is. And this is but one piece of eye-litter in the Gap's latest advertising campaign. Here it is a little closer:


And here's the ad featuring a woman who is (thank god for her!) completely on the fashion-ball:


But, like I said, I am thankful that Gap makes their photos available for download. Here's my take on their campaign:

(click for larger image)

* (When I originally published this post, I made mixed up my Hepburns. Pardon me for my dumbassery, and thank you to the anonymous commenter for informing me.)

Hello. I'm back. Or am I?

Like thousands--probably millions--of other bloggers out there, I've gone against the cardinal promise I made to myself some time ago: "I will not just let this blog die off! I WILL keep it updated!" Yeah. And I'm also not going to let my desk become littered with papers while the ashtray overflows with carcinogenic vomit.

Well, to those of you who know me: Hi, how have you been? To those who don't, namely those who wandered here from an interesting Google search phrase: Welcome. And speaking of those of you who still stumble onto this blog occasionally even though up until this moment it hasn't been updated since April of 2006, some of you find me in very interesting ways.

Since I haven't even touched this blog since last April, today I spent a little time seeing how many people still wander in. Some of the key words that bring people here are both funny and disturbing (which is not to say that disturbing can't be funny). For example, the number one search phrase that brings people to my blog is "Monster Cock." It's gratifying though that this is not because this is a homoerotic blog in any way, but because the term "monster cock" is directly related to a previous post on Jesse Jackson. It's even more satisfying that if one types in the term "monster cock" into Alta Vista's image search, a photoshopped picture from this blog of Jesse Jackson gobbling on a big, fat cock is on the first page of search results. Thank you, search engine spider gods! Try this here if you like.

Well, I have some saved up fodder I'm going to post immediately after this one, but I can't guarantee any kind of commitment. Not that this matters to most of you, unless you're my girlfriend of course, which is another life matter entirely. Take care, it's good to be back, and I hope to be back for a while before I disappear again. . .which will most likely happen.