Hello. I'm back. Or am I?

Like thousands--probably millions--of other bloggers out there, I've gone against the cardinal promise I made to myself some time ago: "I will not just let this blog die off! I WILL keep it updated!" Yeah. And I'm also not going to let my desk become littered with papers while the ashtray overflows with carcinogenic vomit.

Well, to those of you who know me: Hi, how have you been? To those who don't, namely those who wandered here from an interesting Google search phrase: Welcome. And speaking of those of you who still stumble onto this blog occasionally even though up until this moment it hasn't been updated since April of 2006, some of you find me in very interesting ways.

Since I haven't even touched this blog since last April, today I spent a little time seeing how many people still wander in. Some of the key words that bring people here are both funny and disturbing (which is not to say that disturbing can't be funny). For example, the number one search phrase that brings people to my blog is "Monster Cock." It's gratifying though that this is not because this is a homoerotic blog in any way, but because the term "monster cock" is directly related to a previous post on Jesse Jackson. It's even more satisfying that if one types in the term "monster cock" into Alta Vista's image search, a photoshopped picture from this blog of Jesse Jackson gobbling on a big, fat cock is on the first page of search results. Thank you, search engine spider gods! Try this here if you like.

Well, I have some saved up fodder I'm going to post immediately after this one, but I can't guarantee any kind of commitment. Not that this matters to most of you, unless you're my girlfriend of course, which is another life matter entirely. Take care, it's good to be back, and I hope to be back for a while before I disappear again. . .which will most likely happen.