Corporate Love Letter
Dear Interpersonal Love Colleague,
We met each other while networking. How could I have known that our mutually exclusive interfacing would lead to a paradigm shift in my four chambered organ?
The truth is, I love you. . .but I am ashamed of you at the same time. When I walk down the street in my jogging suit with my dog (which is fully pedigreed and pedicured), I find myself attracted and repelled by you. The fact is, we come from different market segments. My four chambered organ says one thing, but my key result action steps tell me that I need to maintain quality control in all aspects of my life. The future isn’t future-proof, no matter how well I multitask all proprietary aspects of my life.
I’d like to believe we are in a win-win situation, and we have in the past taken proactive initiative steps which provided us with increasing returns of love. Unfortunately, I think I have over-leveraged my investment. Unfortunately, as well, I know you’re not the straw man I had hoped for to make this break-up easier.
I tried to be proactive and think outside of the box, but I will admit, the box has me trapped, and I like it here. I tried giving 110% to the idea of us. . . There will be no merger. I am the customer and I need to be fully satisfied.
Aside from us being from different market segments, aside from your rather gosh taste in shoes, there was one thing you said on our last date that sealed the break-up deal: We were walking hand in hand by the lake, and you looked out at the water and suddenly interrupted my assessment of the curent market and its influence on no-load mutual funds by saying, “isn’t the sky beautiful today?” That display of lack of career focus was a window into what lay behind the real you. I could see us years down the road, me reading the Wall Street Journal and you smelling a flower—a real flower mind you—on the kitchen table. I won’t have it!
Please don’t make me change my phone numbers, fax number, e-mail addresses and registry listing under the A.A.B.C.D.E.E.F. Please accept this as a declination of the original proposals of future love and commitment we communicated non-verbally to each other, and thus, all explicit and implicit ties that were and may have been. Since we will, however, inevitably run into each other again, I do consent to whomever makes the first eye contact to nod their head towards the other and say their name, and the other respond with the other’s name in turn, as is very fashionable these days with important people who really have nothing interesting or intelligent to say.
With remorse for what could have been,
Jennifer
P.S.—I want my Celine C.D. back.
We met each other while networking. How could I have known that our mutually exclusive interfacing would lead to a paradigm shift in my four chambered organ?
The truth is, I love you. . .but I am ashamed of you at the same time. When I walk down the street in my jogging suit with my dog (which is fully pedigreed and pedicured), I find myself attracted and repelled by you. The fact is, we come from different market segments. My four chambered organ says one thing, but my key result action steps tell me that I need to maintain quality control in all aspects of my life. The future isn’t future-proof, no matter how well I multitask all proprietary aspects of my life.
I’d like to believe we are in a win-win situation, and we have in the past taken proactive initiative steps which provided us with increasing returns of love. Unfortunately, I think I have over-leveraged my investment. Unfortunately, as well, I know you’re not the straw man I had hoped for to make this break-up easier.
I tried to be proactive and think outside of the box, but I will admit, the box has me trapped, and I like it here. I tried giving 110% to the idea of us. . . There will be no merger. I am the customer and I need to be fully satisfied.
Aside from us being from different market segments, aside from your rather gosh taste in shoes, there was one thing you said on our last date that sealed the break-up deal: We were walking hand in hand by the lake, and you looked out at the water and suddenly interrupted my assessment of the curent market and its influence on no-load mutual funds by saying, “isn’t the sky beautiful today?” That display of lack of career focus was a window into what lay behind the real you. I could see us years down the road, me reading the Wall Street Journal and you smelling a flower—a real flower mind you—on the kitchen table. I won’t have it!
Please don’t make me change my phone numbers, fax number, e-mail addresses and registry listing under the A.A.B.C.D.E.E.F. Please accept this as a declination of the original proposals of future love and commitment we communicated non-verbally to each other, and thus, all explicit and implicit ties that were and may have been. Since we will, however, inevitably run into each other again, I do consent to whomever makes the first eye contact to nod their head towards the other and say their name, and the other respond with the other’s name in turn, as is very fashionable these days with important people who really have nothing interesting or intelligent to say.
With remorse for what could have been,
Jennifer
P.S.—I want my Celine C.D. back.
posted by Rant-N-Roll at 11:12 AM
1 Comments:
Wow, Jennifer is a real go-getter with her priorities lined up. What a gal.
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