Roads & Bridges Magazine is Perverted
Every industry and social group, no matter how obscure, has its trade publications. With the continued segmenting of the American populace, I'm sure we're not that far away from finding a "Left Handed Vegan Christian Scientist" publication being published somewhere.
Recently, and don't ask me how, I found myself reading a copy of Roads and Bridges Magazine. This trade publication actually caters to an enormous industry that is practically invisible to the general public. Seriously, how many of you have thumbed through a copy of Roads and Bridges Magazine? It was interesting though to peruse Roads and Bridges' 2005 Asphalt issue--it opened my eyes to many things about asphalt production and highway safety I take for granted on a daily basis. Of course this magazine could only hold my interest for so long. I was about to discard it, when an advertisement on page seventy caught my eye. It said:
My eyes quickly focused on the relavant parts of this ad, namely the words "banging" and "slamming." I chuckled. With renewed interest and focus in this magazine, my chuckle became an all-out laugh at the ad that read:
With images of hot BBW porn in my head, I noticed another ad on this page that read, "VIBRATORY ROLLER, THE AFFORDABLE SOLUTION," also by Vibco. I also learned that this vibrator weighed just 500 pounds, was powered by a Honda engine and produced 3000 pounds of force.
Wow.
I now had a deliciously perverted focus and filter through which I perused the rest of the magazine. I'm happy to share my findings below.
Perverted Observations of Roads & Bridges, February 2005:
Everpads, Grinding the Difference
Tuffnut
Dickson Industries
Tough. . .Reliable. . .Experienced
The V140 is the most reliable vibratory around
Jacking Systems
Underbridge Inspection Units
Manhole riser (the most efficient, powerful expanding riser on the market)
Manhole Adjustment Problems
Great Curves in Half The Time
Rubberized Crack Filling
We Know Jacks!
Ground Penetrating
Hot Dipped
Put it Anywhere, Watch it Everywhere
Asphalt Smoothness
Chew it Up, Spit it Out, Smooth it Out
Now That's What We call Firm Support
And finally my personal favorite:
Sleep Better With Concrete Pipe
Though some of these slogans are displayed out of context, one has to admit that Roads and Bridges is a very horny magazine. Or perhaps it's just the sensibilities of this magazine reader that made it so. Regardless, I can't wait to get my hands on the next issue, or perhaps check out some of the publisher's other magazines like Water and Wastes Digest. Now that's h-o-t, hot!
Recently, and don't ask me how, I found myself reading a copy of Roads and Bridges Magazine. This trade publication actually caters to an enormous industry that is practically invisible to the general public. Seriously, how many of you have thumbed through a copy of Roads and Bridges Magazine? It was interesting though to peruse Roads and Bridges' 2005 Asphalt issue--it opened my eyes to many things about asphalt production and highway safety I take for granted on a daily basis. Of course this magazine could only hold my interest for so long. I was about to discard it, when an advertisement on page seventy caught my eye. It said:
STOP TAILGATE BANGING
NO MORE BRAKE SLAMMING
NO MORE BRAKE SLAMMING
My eyes quickly focused on the relavant parts of this ad, namely the words "banging" and "slamming." I chuckled. With renewed interest and focus in this magazine, my chuckle became an all-out laugh at the ad that read:
BIG BERTHA--DUMPBODY VIBRATORS BY VIBCO
With images of hot BBW porn in my head, I noticed another ad on this page that read, "VIBRATORY ROLLER, THE AFFORDABLE SOLUTION," also by Vibco. I also learned that this vibrator weighed just 500 pounds, was powered by a Honda engine and produced 3000 pounds of force.
Wow.
I now had a deliciously perverted focus and filter through which I perused the rest of the magazine. I'm happy to share my findings below.
Perverted Observations of Roads & Bridges, February 2005:
And finally my personal favorite:
Though some of these slogans are displayed out of context, one has to admit that Roads and Bridges is a very horny magazine. Or perhaps it's just the sensibilities of this magazine reader that made it so. Regardless, I can't wait to get my hands on the next issue, or perhaps check out some of the publisher's other magazines like Water and Wastes Digest. Now that's h-o-t, hot!
posted by Rant-N-Roll at 2:08 PM
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